A woman’s cat purrs with great content as it kneads the scalp and hair of a man. The cat massage is not well received with much wincing and writhing in pain.

Having owned a cat for many years, I can happily report that he never attempted a cat massage on anyone’s head to my knowledge. There was much kneading, excessive dribbling and purring, though this usually occurred on laps and soft surfaces closer to the ground. He did however once go truck surfing…

One night a friend was leaving my house and within a couple of minutes, he called to say my cat had just fallen off the cabin of his truck when he went over a speed hump. He said the cat ran off towards my place and should be home in a short time, recommending that I check to make sure he was OK. Sure enough, I went outside to find him returning home along the footpath. He had a little blood around his mouth and seemed a little shocked. I wiped the blood off and checked his mouth and teeth which all seemed to be fine. He had no noticeable gashes or wounds. Giving him a drink and stroking him for a bit calmed him down and he was as good as new in no time.

Digression aside, I thought it would be nice to give a cat the opportunity to take part in some follicular kneading, much to the irritation of an unsuspecting visitor. Hopefully he looks sufficiently unimpressed with cat massage as evidenced by the grimacing, perspiration and limb and digit spasms.

I tried to make the woman appear oblivious to his plight and rather pleased with her cat’s scalp massage technique.

At first I coloured the cat in this picture orange to represent a ginger cat, but then recalled that most ginger cats are males. This would then conflict with the caption which I didn’t want to change, so the cat colour was modified instead.